Some people will have done this previously, I doubt very many but some for sure. I’ve done it and I like to think it’s having a positive impact. So what are you working on today - chest? shoulders? abs? I’m working on my character, and my abs...
I was writing a blog at work, mind-mapping all the major points, ideas and angles for the piece and it got me thinking. In business, personal finances, event management and most other aspects of life, we dream, structure and organise to make it perfect, but what about us? I want to be MY version of perfect, on the outside yes, but more importantly on the inside. I go to the gym, I workout, I generally watch what I eat, but do I ever look inwards and better myself internally? Do I hec. The only time I reflect on my behaviour or life choices is on a hangover, with an unexplained injury - gin fear at its peak.
I do agree that we should all be ourselves, but I do also think there’s always room for improvement. There are a lot of people who do sh*tty things who would, given the chance, probably not do them again. Mistakes happen, but a mistake is “ow bugger I bought cheese and left it in Ldls!” Mistakes shouldn’t be defamations of character. Cheating on someone is not a mistake, it’s a choice, and you’re a d*ck. Negatively commenting on someones appearance is not a mistake, it’s being a b*tch. Being inconsiderate and then lying to get yourself out of trouble is not a mistake, it’s being selfish. The point is, you can chose to be better.
I’ve had a think, made a colourful mind-map of course, and created a version of me that I aspire to be. This isn’t something that will overhaul my life or personality, it’s just something for me to keep in mind and work on. I started by writing down all the things I would like to hear others describe me as - what do I want to be said about me at my funeral? Now, what is preventing, or hindering that from happening?
I’ve chosen three areas that I’d like to improve on and instantly incorporate: speak less listen more, chose love every time, and what am I saying?
Speak Less Listen More
I’m a chatter, drunk or not I love a good natter, but perhaps sometimes i should just zip it and listen. If you give someone a platform to speak freely, without disturbances, they quite often will say a lot more than they would have otherwise, lifting their spirits and stress levels as well as strengthening your bond. A lot of people don’t listen to understand, they listen to respond, but if everyone did that there would be no point in having a conversation at all. Each conversation you have is the opportunity to know and understand someone better, take it.
This does not mean I am aiming to fall head over heels with every bloke who pays me attention. Definitely not. It actually means that instead of tutting/gagging at someone’s cheesy ass Facebook post, or rinsing someone on the group whatsapp (but that is quite funny), I'm choosing to give positive vibes. I think this one will be revolutionary and it’s already had an impact; I was cut up on the roundabout the other day but instead of gesturing and driving boot to bonnet behind him, I just carried on singing along to the radio, another driver actually looked at me quizzically for not reacting - shock and awe people, change the mould.
I’m a big believer in cutting out negativity, people especially, but I guess you can steer clear whilst having nice thoughts right? I’m beginning to learn I’m quite intolerant of wet-fish-ness and morons generally, but there are plenty of fish in that sea, may as well accept their presence with a smile!
What am I saying?
This is a toughie. I’m generally quite empathetic and try to see things from other people’s perspective, careful of the opinions I give, but it doesn’t always pan out when I’m balls deep in prosecco. And although I’m sure it’s entertaining for the recipient of my revelation, it’s a massive contributor to my gin fear the next day. So I’m really going to try and ask myself: “Does this person really need to know about my sex life?” “Does this bloke really give two sh*ts about my opinion on it being time he proposed to his girlfriend?” The answer’s generally ‘no’, so I’m hoping it won’t be too hard…
I guess there has to be some morons out there, otherwise what would we all sing about? All I know is that I do not want to be one of them. I’d rather be the focal point of an Ed Sheehan song thank you.
Wish me luck and have a think, how could you change for the better?
Happy International Women's Day!
#bebetter
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