Just say "Yes"!

'A' is for Attitude - what's yours like?

Half of 2017 has disappeared and new year's resolutions are no longer at the forefront of everyone's minds, along with this incredible heat, motivation may not be firing on all levels for many right now.

But, what are our options?

a) Submit to mediocracy, whinge about would-haves, live in denial that next year will be different (even typing that sentence was tiring)

OR 

b) Perhaps we could maybe, potentially, possibly, errr chose to be positive nevertheless? Surely not

For one, saying yes is intrinsically positive, and people are drawn to positive people. Moaning, in my opinion, has to be the number 1 most unattractive quality in a human being; if you're going to be negative and whinge about everything please feel free to neg yourself out alone, over there, by yourself. I don't want to hear it, you're not being funny, get a grip. 

I'm looking into counselling as a career and, although ironic with my lack of tolerance, it's exactly up my street; I want to change youngsters mindsets from entitled and shallow to "Yes!". Teenagers should have RESPECT, they should WORK HARD, and they should aim to BE BETTER, instead of looking better... I'm fed up of seeing kids, and by kids I quite often mean young adults, sat around on their phones, having zero ambition, stropping at their shattered parents and taking hoe filter selfies. Do you really want people to meet you and be disappointed? Err hello, you don't look like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, get on with it...:

"Yes I'll do that"

This has the potential to go against you, for instance saying 'yes' to everything in the workplace quite often means your employers take the p*ss, and no-one wants that. So, I'm not encouraging becoming the office puppet, what I'm aiming at is say 'yes' to tasks, training or projects that you haven't done before. Give things a go, especially if you don't know how, enthusiasm and positivity will get you most of the way anyway. All you need is a smile, proactivity and an inquisitive mind. The more questions you ask, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you are capable of. Competence is confidence. 

"Yes I'll come"

Saying 'yes' is more fun than saying 'no'; I'm generalising here but standing by it. Every time you go somewhere new, attend an event, try a new hobby e.t.c. you meet new people and make new memories. Ever been to the same club every Saturday and barely remember one night from the next? You become accustomed to your surroundings so time frames and actions blur (that's also the alcohol to be fair), but if you go somewhere new you remember what you wore, who you were with, the people you met, the hangover brunch you feasted on, you get my drift. I love speaking to people who have stories to tell, I also aim to be one of those people.

"Yes! How lucky am I!"

I'm a big believer in 'Just Do It', whatever/wherever it is - why not? But I'm also very careful to appreciate what I have right now and what I have done/had previously. I wrote a while ago about having a Reverse Bucket List (http://ellie-dawn.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/its-time-to-reverse-your-bucket-list.html), and it was nice to hear people agree, with almost a sense of relief, at not having to feel they're competing in the rat race for #relationshipgoals or #livingthedream. It's important to take a look in the rear view mirror sometimes and say 'thank you' for what you've already accomplished, especially out loud to those who matter to you. 

So if anyone's got any tips on being more patient, and tolerating crap attitudes, please let me know, I'm going to need the help.

Here's to saying "Yes" - Cheers

What are you working on today? I'm working on my character, and abs...

Some people will have done this previously, I doubt very many but some for sure. I’ve done it and I like to think it’s having a positive impact. So what are you working on today - chest? shoulders? abs? I’m working on my character, and my abs... 

I was writing a blog at work, mind-mapping all the major points, ideas and angles for the piece and it got me thinking. In business, personal finances, event management and most other aspects of life, we dream, structure and organise to make it perfect, but what about us? I want to be MY version of perfect, on the outside yes, but more importantly on the inside. I go to the gym, I workout, I generally watch what I eat, but do I ever look inwards and better myself internally? Do I hec. The only time I reflect on my behaviour or life choices is on a hangover, with an unexplained injury - gin fear at its peak. 

I do agree that we should all be ourselves, but I do also think there’s always room for improvement. There are a lot of people who do sh*tty things who would, given the chance, probably not do them again. Mistakes happen, but a mistake is “ow bugger I bought cheese and left it in Ldls!” Mistakes shouldn’t be defamations of character. Cheating on someone is not a mistake, it’s a choice, and you’re a d*ck. Negatively commenting on someones appearance is not a mistake, it’s being a b*tch. Being inconsiderate and then lying to get yourself out of trouble is not a mistake, it’s being selfish. The point is, you can chose to be better.

I’ve had a think, made a colourful mind-map of course, and created a version of me that I aspire to be. This isn’t something that will overhaul my life or personality, it’s just something for me to keep in mind and work on. I started by writing down all the things I would like to hear others describe me as - what do I want to be said about me at my funeral? Now, what is preventing, or hindering that from happening?

I’ve chosen three areas that I’d like to improve on and instantly incorporate: speak less listen more, chose love every time, and what am I saying?

Speak Less Listen More

I’m a chatter, drunk or not I love a good natter, but perhaps sometimes i should just zip it and listen. If you give someone a platform to speak freely, without disturbances, they quite often will say a lot more than they would have otherwise, lifting their spirits and stress levels as well as strengthening your bond. A lot of people don’t listen to understand, they listen to respond, but if everyone did that there would be no point in having a conversation at all. Each conversation you have is the opportunity to know and understand someone better, take it.

Chose Love Every Time

This does not mean I am aiming to fall head over heels with every bloke who pays me attention. Definitely not. It actually means that instead of tutting/gagging at someone’s cheesy ass Facebook post, or rinsing someone on the group whatsapp (but that is quite funny), I'm choosing to give positive vibes. I think this one will be revolutionary and it’s already had an impact; I was cut up on the roundabout the other day but instead of gesturing and driving boot to bonnet behind him, I just carried on singing along to the radio, another driver actually looked at me quizzically for not reacting - shock and awe people, change the mould. 

I’m a big believer in cutting out negativity, people especially, but I guess you can steer clear whilst having nice thoughts right? I’m beginning to learn I’m quite intolerant of wet-fish-ness and morons generally, but there are plenty of fish in that sea, may as well accept their presence with a smile!

What am I saying?

This is a toughie. I’m generally quite empathetic and try to see things from other people’s perspective, careful of the opinions I give, but it doesn’t always pan out when I’m balls deep in prosecco. And although I’m sure it’s entertaining for the recipient of my revelation, it’s a massive contributor to my gin fear the next day. So I’m really going to try and ask myself: “Does this person really need to know about my sex life?” “Does this bloke really give two sh*ts about my opinion on it being time he proposed to his girlfriend?” The answer’s generally ‘no’, so I’m hoping it won’t be too hard… 

I guess there has to be some morons out there, otherwise what would we all sing about? All I know is that I do not want to be one of them. I’d rather be the focal point of an Ed Sheehan song thank you.

Wish me luck and have a think, how could you change for the better?

Happy International Women's Day!

#bebetter

It's Time to Reverse Your Bucket List!

As a collective it’s quite often found that people tend to judge themselves on what they’ve lost and what they have yet to gain; we are either mourning past relationships and missed opportunities or begrudging our lack of “success” thus far. I’d like to take a moment to live in the present. Where are you right this minute? What are you on the cusp of achieving and how much have you already attained?

I was recently reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, a spiritual adventure of a young shepherd on the hunt for treasure; it is not what he finds in the end, but what he learns on the way that truly measures his success. This got me thinking, what am I missing right now? What have I learnt today and how will that make me better tomorrow?

As the New Year brings about goals, dreams, action and resolutions, (myself included, I’m a resolution junkie), I am going to take the time to appreciate what I have achieved and how far I have come. I’d love for you to do the same, if not for your own peace of mind, for the “Thank You”s no doubt many will receive as an outcome.

“Why can’t I?”

Without Yellow Monkey Marketing and the incredible team I work with, there is no way I would have the “give it a go” attitude I believe I uphold. There are no limits with my company, if I want to try something new, launch a new idea or mix things up, I have free reign. Being encouraged to think outside of the box unleashes an inner adventure! If you don’t try, you will never know. The words “Why not?” and “F**k it” (another awesome book by an author named John C. Parkin) make a regular appearance and have lead me to make memories I couldn’t have dreamed of without that supported confidence. There is no reason why you can’t give yourself that same encouragement; see where it gets you!

There can be a lot of negative press around social media and what it can do to people’s self-esteem, but without the push of seeing others travel the world, bungee jump and embrace new experiences, I doubt anyone would have participated in half as many of their own memories. I often see the moments people are capturing and posting, and “add it to my Bucket List”, but more importantly it pushes me to make my own memories and stories to tell me Grandchildren. Lifetime Achievement Goal: Inspiring my Grandchildren.

I have nowhere near the amount of smug “yay”s and adventures to my name that I aim to have, but here are some of my favourites:

Inter-railing: travelling around Europe by train: 9 countries, 7 capitals, 1 ticket, 1 backpack, 1 pair of shoes, 9 city maps, 0 regrets and a million memories 

Independence: moving to Bristol, ending a long-term relationship, making new friends, new goals, new expectations and embracing my twenties 

Asia: free-styling Thailand and Malaysia with my best friends, some of my favourite daydreams are reminiscing about the pickles we got ourselves into 

Award: winning an award with my company for having a great impact in my first year in the business. I can honestly say I worked my butt off, put in 110% every day and had an absolute blast doing it; winning that award in front of thousands of people still gives me goose bumps. 

So there’s a snippet of my Reverse Bucket List. The process has made me stop to appreciate the people who’ve had a positive impact and also understand that I am only human, (although I would love to be a Superhero, my powers would be instant transportation so I could visit every place on earth). I will achieve my goals, there’s no doubt about it, but getting there is part of the success; I will fail, I will face set-backs but I will learn more importantly. What I’ve achieved so far is pretty cool in my eyes.

Use it as a personal exercise if you wish, but I’d love to hear some of your thoughts and achievements you are proud of!


Happy 2016!

WHAT A RAM-TASTIC YEAR AHEAD...?

Chinese New Year is this Saturday 28th January; I'm all for looking inwards and reflecting on your own character so have done some Ram Research.

There’s some deliberation about whether this zodiac character is the year of the Ram, Sheep or Goat; I prefer the perceived strength of a Ram, and despise the perception of a sheep following the crowd, so I’m going with Ram. Apparently one of a Ram’s traits is stubbornness…

Looking into the Ram’s character, I think I’m safe to be content with my given birth year; I definitely tick some of the character attribute boxes and they’re not horrific or embarrassing, to my knowledge. Some of them obviously aren’t great, but I’ve decided to own them. I’ll let you know how that goes.

The 2017 Ford-cast: Misfortune with a chance of nothing special...

Let’s address the potentially worrying issue of my 2017 Forecast. According to the Chinese zodiac, not only is my health precarious and I need to work hard to improve my career situation in the slightest, my love life will see “no improvement”. 2017 will however, be the year of learning and study; maybe I’ll learn what I actually want to do career-wise and study the language of love. Food for thought!

Can we just chose the best bits?

When reading about your animal character, people are generally the most interested in ticking off their perceived characteristics as right or wrong, so here goes.

• “Delicate thoughts, sympathetic and strong sense of kind-heartedness and justice”: I'd agree with that I think, I’d say I'm quite a philosophical person looking into the “why” of things, I’m also useless in an argument because I can see the other person’s point of view, and I studied Criminology at university so I definitely focus on morality
• “Creativity”: As a child, my favourite place to go was Staples, my Christmas list was full of stationery and my pencil case was my pride and joy, but unfortunately, I was the epitome of “all the gear, no idea” – I have little creative imagination and therefore it didn’t matter how many water colours I had, I was just crap
• “…tough on the inside, insisting on their own opinions in their minds”: This couldn’t be more true; I cannot stand confrontation, choosing to keep the peace and put my point across later to myself in the shower, car, gym etc. 
• “Reserved and quiet”: Na ah! Anyone that knows me wouldn’t think to describe me like that, I’m the person that will become bezzie buds with a friend's new girlfriend or an elderly lady on the bus, and I’m always the first person on the dance floor. Can't stop this.

Gold Goat for Number 1!

Everyone has an animal character related to their year of birth, but the Chinese zodiac goes one step further to break each animal down into specific years. People born in 1931 and 1991 are specifically Gold Goats (Rams) – it’s got a ring to it don’t you think?

Gold Goats are given precise characteristics: ambitious, kind hearted, strong sense of responsibility at work but sometimes too stubborn. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I’d like to think I am all of those, but potentially skip over the stubborn part, there’s just no need for the negativity. Anyway, does it even count as being stubborn if the other person is wrong?

Whether you believe in the Chinese zodiac or not, you can't argue it's interesting to discover what characteristics are assigned to you. I find it difficult to accept that all babies born in the same year are, generically speaking, the same person though...

Happy Chinese New Year!

May 2017 bring you what you need <3 

Flirty Thirty Under 30!

Every decadal age is a milestone in it's own right; 10 is "double-figures now!", 20 is time to explore and experiment, "Life begins at 40", "50 is the new 40!" and 60+ is where you can "sit back and enjoy life". What do our thirties represent then? Stability? The settled years? I guess this is when the majority of people will get married, have children, have settled into their careers and be progressing but that doesn't mean we ought to embrace the fun stuff less does it? A lot of people say your thirties are the best decade of your life as you begin to understand who you are, what you want from life and who you want to spend your time with; you no longer waste your breath on fruitless relationships, toxic friendships or focusing on what others think about you - sounds fabulous! Maybe we should call it "Therapeutic Thirties"?

Now, I'm not nearing 30 yet, I've just turned 25 which means I have 5 years before that milestone. I love a challenge and adore lists so not only do I have a "30 Countries before 30" countdown (I'm on 21), I have now created my "30 Under 30" list whereby activities, events and experiences are to be completed before May 3rd 2021. Here it is!

1. Do a Circuits Class
2. Adopt a Dog
3. Get a Tattoo
4. Go Hiking
5. Read Classic Novels - suggestions welcomed
6. Be Self-Employed
7. Own a Car
8. Buy a Home
9. Host Christmas
10. Throw a Dinner Party
11. See more local live music
12. Explore my own City: Watershed, Mshed, @Bristol, Paintworks, the Lido, The Old Vic, Tabaco Factory, The Observatory, The Planetarium
13. NYC - live it up in New York!
14. Skinny Dip
15. Watch an Ice Hockey Game
16. Go to Bath Spa
17. Do a 10k
18. Cambridge v Oxford Boat Race - watching from the side-lines with a glass of prosecco obviously
19. Go to Wimbledon - Murray's Mound!
20. Paddle boarding
21. See Beyonce/Mumford and Sons in concert
22. See a Whale - not in the mirror
23. Go to the theatre to watch The Lion King in London
24. Spend a day at the Races
25. Buy myself a Designer/Independent Business Woman Handbag
26. Go to all the Bristol hotspots I've been meaning to go to for ever! Cori Tap, Balloon Fiesta, Bag 'O' Nails (Cat Pub), Grillstock, Lock and Wier (frozen Cider), Bump Roller Disco at Motion, Clifton Sausage,
27. Go to Longleat
28. Shake Awake - early morning rave for exercise purposes!
29. Climb Cabot Tower, Slide down the man-made-butt slide under the Observatory
30. Do the Camel Trail and Bristol to Bath cycle trail

Some of these have more than 1 aspect, but I've got 5 years so I'm confident and can't wait to get started :) Question is, where do I start???

#30under30

#30before30

#thirties

Hmm, well that wasn't part of the plan!

Well that wasn't meant to happen! Here I am, back at home! What. The. Dickens.

Long story short: Camp America was incredible, the people were out of this world and the overall experience was phenomenal. Unfortunately I had to cut it short and miss out on my after-camp-travels due to personal health reasons, such a shame but I'm not going to dwell on it. 

Day 1:

I believe I slept for 12 hours solid; I was at home with my family, they were no longer tormenting themselves for not being with me, and knowing I could now crack on and attack the situation (after a long hot shower and deep, post-camp clean of course). I felt strong, I felt pro-active and I felt calmer. 

2 Weeks Later:

Reflection Time. I know I needed to come home, I would have regretted it if I hadn't, but it took a lot for me to accept that and book the flight, I was determined not to be that person. So what do I do now? By now, my heart had stopped pounding, I was winding it in a little bit and my mind was taking a breather, but this meant that the thoughts I'd been subsiding could now creep to the front of my brain. 

What is my life right now?

What am I doing?

Where do I go from here? 

The way I saw it was that I had 2 options. I'm unsure as to whether option 1 was fight or flight to be honest: "F**k it, let's pack a bag and finish what I started, somewhere" - is this fighting to keep the adventure alive or actually just running away from decisions and responsibilities? Option 2 didn't become a serious contender for quite some time: "I've had my 2 months of fun, it's now time to settle back in" - Operation Adulting just didn't appeal as much to me initially, but what more could I achieve from this and how far back would option 1 put me? Which would you chose?

My life on paper as it stands is not to be sniffed at - are you ready for this? Here we go. No job, no career, no home (of my own, my parents still love me), no car, no dog, a degree I don't use, no felt purpose, no bloody idea what's going on....... I thought I'd had my quarter life crisis; the decision to pack it all up and "chase my dreams" at Camp and beyond. No, no, turns out that was just fun! Dreaming of travels, booking flights, leaving parties, endless options. This, right now, is the real stubborn bugger of a quarter-life-crisis. I felt like I'd failed. It's a sinking feeling, that I may or may not have sobbed my way through. The thing is, that colourless, useless paper review of my life does not include all the fantastic aspects I'm so blessed to have and have done.

The people I met at Camp Woodstock were the most wonderful, caring and hilarious individuals I have ever come across; they live and breathe gratitude and prioritise bettering the lives of children over everything else, the U.K could benefit from a snippet of that #bringsummercamptotheuk. Although my time away didn't quite go to plan, I have had such a fantastic time and learnt so much, it's quite possibly the best thing I've ever done. Just observing how hard they work and their lust for fun is enough to change anyone's perspective, even Neg-Master-Generals! Take a look at their website and Facebook page to see what I mean: http://www.campwoodstock.org/ https://www.facebook.com/YMCA-Camp-Woodstock-30862276328/

I find quite often we're told to make 5 year plans, and think further into the future, but I'm not sure I agree with this fully. If it's a business model then by all means it's a no-brainer, but for our general lives, personally I would find it counteractive perhaps. Firstly, the thought of resigning myself to 5 years of whatever it may be (a job, a city, a budget plan) is a little depressing. 5 years is a long old time, a lot can happen and a lot can surprise you. What happens if you've hit all of the supposed relationship milestones up until 4 and a half years and your fiancé cheats on you? Mother F**ker. You've just spent a vast chunk of time ticking those perceived boxes, reaching those age milestones and now how do you feel? Like you have to "start all over again"? This may, to some, seem pessimistic, but I see it rather differently. I don't want to section off years of my life to fit into a plan, I would much rather do things as I see fit at the time, take a punt on exciting avenues, be free-spirited when it comes to relationships. Enjoy the now and surprise myself! Now, this does not mean that I am fluttering from here to there without a care in the world or purpose to my being. Do I work hard? Yes. Do I have goals? Yes. Do I succeed in my chosen areas? Yes, so far so good. I just don't have tunnel vision. Time is the most precious thing, I'd hate to wake up one day shocked by how much time has flown by with me not taking note of all the wonderful people and places around me.

I don't know what it is about coffee, but it's my drug of choice, I cannot and will not be negative on coffee, it's impossible! I've necked 2 this morning, (skinny no sugar thanks), and I'm a different woman! I'm giving money to my Big Issue man, I'm smiling and chatting to strangers, and I'm getting excited for what's next. 5 year plans are not for me, but I am getting in the mix with a short-term one; my "Hmm well that wasn't the plan" plan. I'm currently living back at home and I've come to the conclusion (with some help from some loved ones) that now would be a pretty sweet time for me to give myself a chance to enjoy where I live again. I'm very fortunate to have been brought up in Cornwall, Bude exactly, but as I moved to Bristol visits became less and less. I understand why people move away to get better jobs, enjoy the city life etc but I also completely get why people don't want to leave! It's stunning! Beautiful beaches, countryside, a special, idyllic social life (http://www.visitbude.info/). Last night for instance, I worked at Bar 35 (https://www.facebook.com/BarThirtyFiveBude/) in the day (chatting with the locals, playing with canine customers), then popped up to Widemouth Manor (http://www.widemouthmanor.co.uk/) for a drink with the lads who had been surfing all day, sat and enjoyed the view in the sunshine, then ended the evening with a barbecue at a friend's house. It cost hardly anything, there was no stress, it was pure contentment in my eyes. With working non 9-5 hours, I have some day times free so instead of just lapping up the sunshine as a Beach Bum, I'm contemplating pursuing a writing career; something I can do from home (or wherever my Mac takes me), I can work my own hours and it's something I enjoy! 

Whatever I end up doing, I'm grateful for my current situation, and who knows, maybe I'm meant to be doing this right now, maybe it's meant to be :)

#sodtheplan

#embracethenow

#letsdothis

#bude

The Best Dreams Happen When You're Awake

Life, as I now know it, is different. April was my final month as a Yellow Monkey, final month in Bristol and final month of "normality". As of the 1st of May, I have now moved back home for my pre-camp preparations! It's a massive alteration that I'm not quite sure I'm ready for if I'm honest. I am now technically unemployed, without a day to day purpose, in a place whereby, albeit beautiful, bars, cafes, clubs, shops and public transport are few and far between. Some of my closest friends are now hundreds of miles away and now exist only in the 2D realm of communication and social media, not "down the road".

To some people this may seem petrifying and somewhat a stupid thing to do as I was so happy in Bristol, but Quarter-Life-Crises are no joke. I know I was lucky enough to have a wonderful set up, with a great job in an awesome company, fantastic friends and the city lifestyle I loved, but Bristol is but one place in the entire world. I am so very excited about the memories to come in places I have never been, with people I haven't even met yet.

Some people have said, "it's alright for some!" which makes me feel I should justify myself. Now, I have worked bloody hard for many years, saving wherever possible and building a reputation whereby I believe I would be welcomed back into my company. I haven't spent my money on cars, expensive holidays or designer goods; I have, and always will, spend my money on memories. I haven't whinged and moaned about my job whilst doing the bare minimum, I have put in 110% since day one in order to hit bonus' and get promotions. So they're right, it is alright for some, it's alright for the people who work hard and deserve to live the life they dream of.

Some people dream of owning their own home. When they achieve it and post the obligatory photo of them with their new keys outside their front door, I don't think I've ever seen a comment saying "it's alright for some!" Everyone knows that they've had to scrimp and save for months if not years to pull together the deposit. It's the same for travelling the world. I wasn't given a plane ticket, thousands weren't just dropped into my bank account, I had to earn it. The difference between the genuine happiness for a new couple buying their first family home and someone setting off on their travels is that some people haven't got the bottle (I wanted to say "balls" but let's be gender neutral) to go and do it themselves. So, instead of a thumbs up and pat on the back, you get a sense of guilt flung upon you from people who would rather you stayed put, in your "proper job" and settled down. 

Life for me isn't something you get too many chances at, I don't want to waste mine wishing I'd done more, seen more, and regretting not saying "yes" more. Everyday is the chance to make a new memory, meet a new friend, fall in love with a new hobby, whatever it is that makes you smile.

#thebestdreamshappenwhenyoureawake