What are you working on today? I'm working on my character, and abs...

Some people will have done this previously, I doubt very many but some for sure. I’ve done it and I like to think it’s having a positive impact. So what are you working on today - chest? shoulders? abs? I’m working on my character, and my abs... 

I was writing a blog at work, mind-mapping all the major points, ideas and angles for the piece and it got me thinking. In business, personal finances, event management and most other aspects of life, we dream, structure and organise to make it perfect, but what about us? I want to be MY version of perfect, on the outside yes, but more importantly on the inside. I go to the gym, I workout, I generally watch what I eat, but do I ever look inwards and better myself internally? Do I hec. The only time I reflect on my behaviour or life choices is on a hangover, with an unexplained injury - gin fear at its peak. 

I do agree that we should all be ourselves, but I do also think there’s always room for improvement. There are a lot of people who do sh*tty things who would, given the chance, probably not do them again. Mistakes happen, but a mistake is “ow bugger I bought cheese and left it in Ldls!” Mistakes shouldn’t be defamations of character. Cheating on someone is not a mistake, it’s a choice, and you’re a d*ck. Negatively commenting on someones appearance is not a mistake, it’s being a b*tch. Being inconsiderate and then lying to get yourself out of trouble is not a mistake, it’s being selfish. The point is, you can chose to be better.

I’ve had a think, made a colourful mind-map of course, and created a version of me that I aspire to be. This isn’t something that will overhaul my life or personality, it’s just something for me to keep in mind and work on. I started by writing down all the things I would like to hear others describe me as - what do I want to be said about me at my funeral? Now, what is preventing, or hindering that from happening?

I’ve chosen three areas that I’d like to improve on and instantly incorporate: speak less listen more, chose love every time, and what am I saying?

Speak Less Listen More

I’m a chatter, drunk or not I love a good natter, but perhaps sometimes i should just zip it and listen. If you give someone a platform to speak freely, without disturbances, they quite often will say a lot more than they would have otherwise, lifting their spirits and stress levels as well as strengthening your bond. A lot of people don’t listen to understand, they listen to respond, but if everyone did that there would be no point in having a conversation at all. Each conversation you have is the opportunity to know and understand someone better, take it.

Chose Love Every Time

This does not mean I am aiming to fall head over heels with every bloke who pays me attention. Definitely not. It actually means that instead of tutting/gagging at someone’s cheesy ass Facebook post, or rinsing someone on the group whatsapp (but that is quite funny), I'm choosing to give positive vibes. I think this one will be revolutionary and it’s already had an impact; I was cut up on the roundabout the other day but instead of gesturing and driving boot to bonnet behind him, I just carried on singing along to the radio, another driver actually looked at me quizzically for not reacting - shock and awe people, change the mould. 

I’m a big believer in cutting out negativity, people especially, but I guess you can steer clear whilst having nice thoughts right? I’m beginning to learn I’m quite intolerant of wet-fish-ness and morons generally, but there are plenty of fish in that sea, may as well accept their presence with a smile!

What am I saying?

This is a toughie. I’m generally quite empathetic and try to see things from other people’s perspective, careful of the opinions I give, but it doesn’t always pan out when I’m balls deep in prosecco. And although I’m sure it’s entertaining for the recipient of my revelation, it’s a massive contributor to my gin fear the next day. So I’m really going to try and ask myself: “Does this person really need to know about my sex life?” “Does this bloke really give two sh*ts about my opinion on it being time he proposed to his girlfriend?” The answer’s generally ‘no’, so I’m hoping it won’t be too hard… 

I guess there has to be some morons out there, otherwise what would we all sing about? All I know is that I do not want to be one of them. I’d rather be the focal point of an Ed Sheehan song thank you.

Wish me luck and have a think, how could you change for the better?

Happy International Women's Day!

#bebetter

It's Time to Reverse Your Bucket List!

As a collective it’s quite often found that people tend to judge themselves on what they’ve lost and what they have yet to gain; we are either mourning past relationships and missed opportunities or begrudging our lack of “success” thus far. I’d like to take a moment to live in the present. Where are you right this minute? What are you on the cusp of achieving and how much have you already attained?

I was recently reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, a spiritual adventure of a young shepherd on the hunt for treasure; it is not what he finds in the end, but what he learns on the way that truly measures his success. This got me thinking, what am I missing right now? What have I learnt today and how will that make me better tomorrow?

As the New Year brings about goals, dreams, action and resolutions, (myself included, I’m a resolution junkie), I am going to take the time to appreciate what I have achieved and how far I have come. I’d love for you to do the same, if not for your own peace of mind, for the “Thank You”s no doubt many will receive as an outcome.

“Why can’t I?”

Without Yellow Monkey Marketing and the incredible team I work with, there is no way I would have the “give it a go” attitude I believe I uphold. There are no limits with my company, if I want to try something new, launch a new idea or mix things up, I have free reign. Being encouraged to think outside of the box unleashes an inner adventure! If you don’t try, you will never know. The words “Why not?” and “F**k it” (another awesome book by an author named John C. Parkin) make a regular appearance and have lead me to make memories I couldn’t have dreamed of without that supported confidence. There is no reason why you can’t give yourself that same encouragement; see where it gets you!

There can be a lot of negative press around social media and what it can do to people’s self-esteem, but without the push of seeing others travel the world, bungee jump and embrace new experiences, I doubt anyone would have participated in half as many of their own memories. I often see the moments people are capturing and posting, and “add it to my Bucket List”, but more importantly it pushes me to make my own memories and stories to tell me Grandchildren. Lifetime Achievement Goal: Inspiring my Grandchildren.

I have nowhere near the amount of smug “yay”s and adventures to my name that I aim to have, but here are some of my favourites:

Inter-railing: travelling around Europe by train: 9 countries, 7 capitals, 1 ticket, 1 backpack, 1 pair of shoes, 9 city maps, 0 regrets and a million memories 

Independence: moving to Bristol, ending a long-term relationship, making new friends, new goals, new expectations and embracing my twenties 

Asia: free-styling Thailand and Malaysia with my best friends, some of my favourite daydreams are reminiscing about the pickles we got ourselves into 

Award: winning an award with my company for having a great impact in my first year in the business. I can honestly say I worked my butt off, put in 110% every day and had an absolute blast doing it; winning that award in front of thousands of people still gives me goose bumps. 

So there’s a snippet of my Reverse Bucket List. The process has made me stop to appreciate the people who’ve had a positive impact and also understand that I am only human, (although I would love to be a Superhero, my powers would be instant transportation so I could visit every place on earth). I will achieve my goals, there’s no doubt about it, but getting there is part of the success; I will fail, I will face set-backs but I will learn more importantly. What I’ve achieved so far is pretty cool in my eyes.

Use it as a personal exercise if you wish, but I’d love to hear some of your thoughts and achievements you are proud of!


Happy 2016!