Just say "Yes"!

'A' is for Attitude - what's yours like?

Half of 2017 has disappeared and new year's resolutions are no longer at the forefront of everyone's minds, along with this incredible heat, motivation may not be firing on all levels for many right now.

But, what are our options?

a) Submit to mediocracy, whinge about would-haves, live in denial that next year will be different (even typing that sentence was tiring)

OR 

b) Perhaps we could maybe, potentially, possibly, errr chose to be positive nevertheless? Surely not

For one, saying yes is intrinsically positive, and people are drawn to positive people. Moaning, in my opinion, has to be the number 1 most unattractive quality in a human being; if you're going to be negative and whinge about everything please feel free to neg yourself out alone, over there, by yourself. I don't want to hear it, you're not being funny, get a grip. 

I'm looking into counselling as a career and, although ironic with my lack of tolerance, it's exactly up my street; I want to change youngsters mindsets from entitled and shallow to "Yes!". Teenagers should have RESPECT, they should WORK HARD, and they should aim to BE BETTER, instead of looking better... I'm fed up of seeing kids, and by kids I quite often mean young adults, sat around on their phones, having zero ambition, stropping at their shattered parents and taking hoe filter selfies. Do you really want people to meet you and be disappointed? Err hello, you don't look like that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, get on with it...:

"Yes I'll do that"

This has the potential to go against you, for instance saying 'yes' to everything in the workplace quite often means your employers take the p*ss, and no-one wants that. So, I'm not encouraging becoming the office puppet, what I'm aiming at is say 'yes' to tasks, training or projects that you haven't done before. Give things a go, especially if you don't know how, enthusiasm and positivity will get you most of the way anyway. All you need is a smile, proactivity and an inquisitive mind. The more questions you ask, the more you learn. The more you learn, the more you are capable of. Competence is confidence. 

"Yes I'll come"

Saying 'yes' is more fun than saying 'no'; I'm generalising here but standing by it. Every time you go somewhere new, attend an event, try a new hobby e.t.c. you meet new people and make new memories. Ever been to the same club every Saturday and barely remember one night from the next? You become accustomed to your surroundings so time frames and actions blur (that's also the alcohol to be fair), but if you go somewhere new you remember what you wore, who you were with, the people you met, the hangover brunch you feasted on, you get my drift. I love speaking to people who have stories to tell, I also aim to be one of those people.

"Yes! How lucky am I!"

I'm a big believer in 'Just Do It', whatever/wherever it is - why not? But I'm also very careful to appreciate what I have right now and what I have done/had previously. I wrote a while ago about having a Reverse Bucket List (http://ellie-dawn.blogspot.co.uk/2017/03/its-time-to-reverse-your-bucket-list.html), and it was nice to hear people agree, with almost a sense of relief, at not having to feel they're competing in the rat race for #relationshipgoals or #livingthedream. It's important to take a look in the rear view mirror sometimes and say 'thank you' for what you've already accomplished, especially out loud to those who matter to you. 

So if anyone's got any tips on being more patient, and tolerating crap attitudes, please let me know, I'm going to need the help.

Here's to saying "Yes" - Cheers

What are you working on today? I'm working on my character, and abs...

Some people will have done this previously, I doubt very many but some for sure. I’ve done it and I like to think it’s having a positive impact. So what are you working on today - chest? shoulders? abs? I’m working on my character, and my abs... 

I was writing a blog at work, mind-mapping all the major points, ideas and angles for the piece and it got me thinking. In business, personal finances, event management and most other aspects of life, we dream, structure and organise to make it perfect, but what about us? I want to be MY version of perfect, on the outside yes, but more importantly on the inside. I go to the gym, I workout, I generally watch what I eat, but do I ever look inwards and better myself internally? Do I hec. The only time I reflect on my behaviour or life choices is on a hangover, with an unexplained injury - gin fear at its peak. 

I do agree that we should all be ourselves, but I do also think there’s always room for improvement. There are a lot of people who do sh*tty things who would, given the chance, probably not do them again. Mistakes happen, but a mistake is “ow bugger I bought cheese and left it in Ldls!” Mistakes shouldn’t be defamations of character. Cheating on someone is not a mistake, it’s a choice, and you’re a d*ck. Negatively commenting on someones appearance is not a mistake, it’s being a b*tch. Being inconsiderate and then lying to get yourself out of trouble is not a mistake, it’s being selfish. The point is, you can chose to be better.

I’ve had a think, made a colourful mind-map of course, and created a version of me that I aspire to be. This isn’t something that will overhaul my life or personality, it’s just something for me to keep in mind and work on. I started by writing down all the things I would like to hear others describe me as - what do I want to be said about me at my funeral? Now, what is preventing, or hindering that from happening?

I’ve chosen three areas that I’d like to improve on and instantly incorporate: speak less listen more, chose love every time, and what am I saying?

Speak Less Listen More

I’m a chatter, drunk or not I love a good natter, but perhaps sometimes i should just zip it and listen. If you give someone a platform to speak freely, without disturbances, they quite often will say a lot more than they would have otherwise, lifting their spirits and stress levels as well as strengthening your bond. A lot of people don’t listen to understand, they listen to respond, but if everyone did that there would be no point in having a conversation at all. Each conversation you have is the opportunity to know and understand someone better, take it.

Chose Love Every Time

This does not mean I am aiming to fall head over heels with every bloke who pays me attention. Definitely not. It actually means that instead of tutting/gagging at someone’s cheesy ass Facebook post, or rinsing someone on the group whatsapp (but that is quite funny), I'm choosing to give positive vibes. I think this one will be revolutionary and it’s already had an impact; I was cut up on the roundabout the other day but instead of gesturing and driving boot to bonnet behind him, I just carried on singing along to the radio, another driver actually looked at me quizzically for not reacting - shock and awe people, change the mould. 

I’m a big believer in cutting out negativity, people especially, but I guess you can steer clear whilst having nice thoughts right? I’m beginning to learn I’m quite intolerant of wet-fish-ness and morons generally, but there are plenty of fish in that sea, may as well accept their presence with a smile!

What am I saying?

This is a toughie. I’m generally quite empathetic and try to see things from other people’s perspective, careful of the opinions I give, but it doesn’t always pan out when I’m balls deep in prosecco. And although I’m sure it’s entertaining for the recipient of my revelation, it’s a massive contributor to my gin fear the next day. So I’m really going to try and ask myself: “Does this person really need to know about my sex life?” “Does this bloke really give two sh*ts about my opinion on it being time he proposed to his girlfriend?” The answer’s generally ‘no’, so I’m hoping it won’t be too hard… 

I guess there has to be some morons out there, otherwise what would we all sing about? All I know is that I do not want to be one of them. I’d rather be the focal point of an Ed Sheehan song thank you.

Wish me luck and have a think, how could you change for the better?

Happy International Women's Day!

#bebetter

It's Time to Reverse Your Bucket List!

As a collective it’s quite often found that people tend to judge themselves on what they’ve lost and what they have yet to gain; we are either mourning past relationships and missed opportunities or begrudging our lack of “success” thus far. I’d like to take a moment to live in the present. Where are you right this minute? What are you on the cusp of achieving and how much have you already attained?

I was recently reading “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho, a spiritual adventure of a young shepherd on the hunt for treasure; it is not what he finds in the end, but what he learns on the way that truly measures his success. This got me thinking, what am I missing right now? What have I learnt today and how will that make me better tomorrow?

As the New Year brings about goals, dreams, action and resolutions, (myself included, I’m a resolution junkie), I am going to take the time to appreciate what I have achieved and how far I have come. I’d love for you to do the same, if not for your own peace of mind, for the “Thank You”s no doubt many will receive as an outcome.

“Why can’t I?”

Without Yellow Monkey Marketing and the incredible team I work with, there is no way I would have the “give it a go” attitude I believe I uphold. There are no limits with my company, if I want to try something new, launch a new idea or mix things up, I have free reign. Being encouraged to think outside of the box unleashes an inner adventure! If you don’t try, you will never know. The words “Why not?” and “F**k it” (another awesome book by an author named John C. Parkin) make a regular appearance and have lead me to make memories I couldn’t have dreamed of without that supported confidence. There is no reason why you can’t give yourself that same encouragement; see where it gets you!

There can be a lot of negative press around social media and what it can do to people’s self-esteem, but without the push of seeing others travel the world, bungee jump and embrace new experiences, I doubt anyone would have participated in half as many of their own memories. I often see the moments people are capturing and posting, and “add it to my Bucket List”, but more importantly it pushes me to make my own memories and stories to tell me Grandchildren. Lifetime Achievement Goal: Inspiring my Grandchildren.

I have nowhere near the amount of smug “yay”s and adventures to my name that I aim to have, but here are some of my favourites:

Inter-railing: travelling around Europe by train: 9 countries, 7 capitals, 1 ticket, 1 backpack, 1 pair of shoes, 9 city maps, 0 regrets and a million memories 

Independence: moving to Bristol, ending a long-term relationship, making new friends, new goals, new expectations and embracing my twenties 

Asia: free-styling Thailand and Malaysia with my best friends, some of my favourite daydreams are reminiscing about the pickles we got ourselves into 

Award: winning an award with my company for having a great impact in my first year in the business. I can honestly say I worked my butt off, put in 110% every day and had an absolute blast doing it; winning that award in front of thousands of people still gives me goose bumps. 

So there’s a snippet of my Reverse Bucket List. The process has made me stop to appreciate the people who’ve had a positive impact and also understand that I am only human, (although I would love to be a Superhero, my powers would be instant transportation so I could visit every place on earth). I will achieve my goals, there’s no doubt about it, but getting there is part of the success; I will fail, I will face set-backs but I will learn more importantly. What I’ve achieved so far is pretty cool in my eyes.

Use it as a personal exercise if you wish, but I’d love to hear some of your thoughts and achievements you are proud of!


Happy 2016!

WHAT A RAM-TASTIC YEAR AHEAD...?

Chinese New Year is this Saturday 28th January; I'm all for looking inwards and reflecting on your own character so have done some Ram Research.

There’s some deliberation about whether this zodiac character is the year of the Ram, Sheep or Goat; I prefer the perceived strength of a Ram, and despise the perception of a sheep following the crowd, so I’m going with Ram. Apparently one of a Ram’s traits is stubbornness…

Looking into the Ram’s character, I think I’m safe to be content with my given birth year; I definitely tick some of the character attribute boxes and they’re not horrific or embarrassing, to my knowledge. Some of them obviously aren’t great, but I’ve decided to own them. I’ll let you know how that goes.

The 2017 Ford-cast: Misfortune with a chance of nothing special...

Let’s address the potentially worrying issue of my 2017 Forecast. According to the Chinese zodiac, not only is my health precarious and I need to work hard to improve my career situation in the slightest, my love life will see “no improvement”. 2017 will however, be the year of learning and study; maybe I’ll learn what I actually want to do career-wise and study the language of love. Food for thought!

Can we just chose the best bits?

When reading about your animal character, people are generally the most interested in ticking off their perceived characteristics as right or wrong, so here goes.

• “Delicate thoughts, sympathetic and strong sense of kind-heartedness and justice”: I'd agree with that I think, I’d say I'm quite a philosophical person looking into the “why” of things, I’m also useless in an argument because I can see the other person’s point of view, and I studied Criminology at university so I definitely focus on morality
• “Creativity”: As a child, my favourite place to go was Staples, my Christmas list was full of stationery and my pencil case was my pride and joy, but unfortunately, I was the epitome of “all the gear, no idea” – I have little creative imagination and therefore it didn’t matter how many water colours I had, I was just crap
• “…tough on the inside, insisting on their own opinions in their minds”: This couldn’t be more true; I cannot stand confrontation, choosing to keep the peace and put my point across later to myself in the shower, car, gym etc. 
• “Reserved and quiet”: Na ah! Anyone that knows me wouldn’t think to describe me like that, I’m the person that will become bezzie buds with a friend's new girlfriend or an elderly lady on the bus, and I’m always the first person on the dance floor. Can't stop this.

Gold Goat for Number 1!

Everyone has an animal character related to their year of birth, but the Chinese zodiac goes one step further to break each animal down into specific years. People born in 1931 and 1991 are specifically Gold Goats (Rams) – it’s got a ring to it don’t you think?

Gold Goats are given precise characteristics: ambitious, kind hearted, strong sense of responsibility at work but sometimes too stubborn. Tick, tick, tick, tick. I’d like to think I am all of those, but potentially skip over the stubborn part, there’s just no need for the negativity. Anyway, does it even count as being stubborn if the other person is wrong?

Whether you believe in the Chinese zodiac or not, you can't argue it's interesting to discover what characteristics are assigned to you. I find it difficult to accept that all babies born in the same year are, generically speaking, the same person though...

Happy Chinese New Year!

May 2017 bring you what you need <3